Often times looking from the outside in, it is easy to think “why do they stay in that relationship?!”. Here are a few of the reasons and how you can help! Let’s take a step into the shoes of those affected by domestic/dating violence.
Hoping for change:
If you have never been trained in the cycle of violence in relationships, it easy to hope that the situation will change and that the abuser will stop treating you badly. However, more times than not, the abuser does not change and continues to escalate the cycle of violence.
Thinking It’s Normal:
If you grew up in a world where you only saw unhealthy relationships, then abuse would seem normal. They may have never seen a healthy relationship and if they have they may not believe that they can achieve or deserve a healthy relationship.
One of the things that often occurs in abusive situations is that abusers will do what they can to exert control over the other. This can be done by limiting access to funds, transportation, food and other items. Places like Haven House are available all across the country, but sometimes those in abusive situations are unaware of the help that is available and the extent of help available.
Nowhere to Go:
Simply put, there are no friends or family to turn to for help. Often times, for those who still have living family or friends they may not believe the survivor that they are experiencing abuse.
In many circles, leaving a relationship (even if abusive) is looked down on. This not only friends and peers but also religious communities. They would rather stay than be looked down with disdain.
So what can you do?
If someone you know is in an abusive relationship, listen to them and be supportive. Don’t cast judgement on them. For them leaving that relationship seems difficult and they knew good people who will help them out.
If you have questions or want to know more, you can stop by one of our office locations to speak with an advocate. We have a variety of tools that you can give your friend or family member that is experience abuse. Our goal is to bring an end to domestic/dating/sexual violence in Northeast Nebraska and with your help we can!
Check out this more in depth article from Love is Respect. View HERE.